Author's Note: In the first version of Nirel, she and Jase slept together on that last night before reaching the capital. I took it out because my beta readers told me it happened too fast and because they weren't giving Corvin a chance in the love triangle because she'd already had sex with Jase. When I rewrote Nirel, I kept her in turmoil over her feelings for a longer time period.
Also, I decided that Jase shouldn't be a virgin. At 26 and in a society that didn't look down on premarital sex, it was far more likely for him to have had previous relationships.
Nearly four weeks after we started our journey, we reached the outskirts of the capital. My muscles had adjusted to the journey and didn’t hurt that much from the walking, but my hips and knees ached. My boots were worn out.
The weather this far south was still warm. I did not need my cloak. The vegetation and soil changed too. The dirt became sandy and the fruit trees by the Merchant Road were oranges instead of apples.
As we neared the capital, I wished it was far away. I wanted to stay with Jase. The prospect of being without him filled my already weary heart with dread.
We would reach the capital tomorrow. It was our last night on the Merchant Road.
We ate and laughed. Bernard drank himself silly. He was so excited to see his wife and I couldn’t help but feel excited for him, too. We helped him up the stairs and into the bed. Jase pulled off Bernard’s boots and got his gambeson off. He snored as I tucked him into the blankets. I checked my herbs. He would need a hangover cure for tomorrow.
I was still going through my tonics when warm hands settled on my shoulders. Jase. My breath caught in my throat. I abandoned the herbs and immodestly leaned against him. He wrapped me in an embrace. His heart thundered in my ear. My own raced unsteadily.
I turned to face him, and he cupped my cheeks in his hands. He was so close, his lips hovering over mine. My breath came in a short gasp as he brought his lips to mine with a gentle kiss. My heart leapt as my stomach exploded in butterflies.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and a small moan vibrated deep in his throat. The sound woke something even deeper that I feared to acknowledge. I pulled away, wide eyed. I should have felt guilty, but I didn't.
He studied my features for a moment. “Are you alright?”
I nodded. I was more than alright. Truth be told, I wanted more… more than a modest woman should.
“I just had to,” he said softly, casting his eyes down. “I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, but,” he paused and tried to find the words, “This is going to sound ridiculous. But, I love you, Nirel.”
“Not ridiculous,” I whispered. My eyes drank in his handsome features as all the feelings I’d fought to keep hidden rose to the surface. My breath hitched. “I love you too.”
His joyous smile could have lit the entire province. I brought my lips back to his. His arms crushed me against him.
Bernard snored loudly. I muffled a giggle behind my hands. Jase pressed his forehead against mine as he tried to stifle his mirth. He raised his head with a shimmer in his eyes.
“I have an idea,” he whispered.
My eyebrows went up. “What?”
“Hold on.” He released me and walked towards the door, pausing to adjust his trousers before exiting.
Curiosity rose in my chest. What in the Saints’ names was he doing? I turned back to my herbs and pulled out three that I thought would help Bernard in the morning. I gently set them next to my pack and walked barefoot to the door, and peeked out. Boots clicked on the stairs and Jase came into view with a flickering candle. He motioned for me to come with him. That was odd. I stepped out and closed the door just as Bernard snored again.
“What?” I asked softly as I approached.
“Come,” he said, and led me to another room. He pushed the door open and lit a few candles around the room. This room had one bed and no bath. It must have been one of the less expensive boardings. I turned back to Jase, who was pulling off his boots.
“I thought I couldn’t have my own room!”
Jase stumbled over his boots to close the door, then turned back to face me.
“It would have been a bit expensive the whole trip.” He set the candle down on the small table by the bed. “But I thought you might like your own room on the last night of our travels. And perhaps I can kiss you without worrying if Bernard will wake up, or worse, snore. If you’d like, that is.”
I pursed my lips but couldn’t stop the smile from overtaking my face. His white teeth contrasted with his deep complexion. Jase practically leapt to me and kissed me hard. I melted in his arms. His smoky smell, his warm lips, the way his arms pressed me against him.
I pushed the priestesses of Saint Modestia from my mind. We were almost at the Capital and we weren’t bound to their rules anymore. I chose freedom.
Jase gently slid his tongue into my mouth, and my other thoughts disappeared. My eyes rolled back as he swirled his tongue around mine. How had I not known about this tongue thing? A fire burned within me. I wanted him. All of him. I pressed my body against him and moaned.
“By the Saints, Nirel,” Jase gasped.
“What?”
“That sound you made.” His eyes were hungry. He wanted me too, didn’t he?
I blushed. Then my fingers reached out thoughtlessly and undid the first button of his gambeson. He stared at me in shock.
“I’m sorry.” I stepped back.
“Don’t be,” he said. He unbuttoned a couple more. I wanted to do it. I undid the last few buttons. He took off his gambeson and hooked it to the door. Then he pulled off his tunic, revealing that horrific scar. He turned back to me. His skin glowed softly in the candlelight. I trailed my fingers along his collarbone and then between the muscles of his chest. He was perfect.
My breath hitched, then I peppered him with kisses from his chin to his chest. His breathing intensified, and he looked at the ceiling to try to control himself.
“Nirel,” his voice sounded strained, “I was just going to kiss you. Do you want more?” He looked back down at me. His chest rose and fell with deep breaths.
I looked up at those deep brown eyes. He had given me the choice. I could choose what I really wanted and no one could take it from me: not the priestesses, not the king, not even him. He left it up to me. My head nodded.
“Yes, I want you.”
I did. I wanted him. Was I being foolish? Completely. But something else took over, a primal desire to experience every bit of this amazing man.
“Oh Saints,” he gasped.
He pulled my apron dress over my head and hung it next to his tunic. I stood before him in just my shift. He took unsteady breaths as he reached underneath my shift and lifted it over my head. He held my crumpled clothes and stared at my bare body. I looked away as my cheeks burned. He untangled his arms and set his hands on my shoulders.
“I've never…" he lost his voice and cleared his throat. “Seen… How can one woman be so beautiful?”
I tucked those words deep in my heart so they’d never be forgotten. My smile seemed to answer him enough.
He undid his trousers. His arousal was obvious within his undershorts. He took them off. I gasped. I had never seen one… alive like that.
I looked up at him, fear clawing my belly. How was it supposed to fit?
Jase stood awkwardly, looking away as I stared.
“Am I your first?” I whispered.
His breath hitched. “Yes.”
I stepped closer and rested my face on his warm chest. His arousal brushed against my thighs as his arms encircled me. He lowered one arm behind my knees and lifted me. I rested my head against his shoulder. Such a strong man.
He lowered me onto the bed and climbed over me. Our lips found each other again as his hands grazed over my breasts. My fingers dug into his back and my hips arched.
“I can't… resist you.” He whispered, kissing me from my neck to my navel.
Desire pooled deep within me. I reached out to touch his length. His chest heaved as my fingers caressed him. A devastating thirst for more destroyed any inhibition I had left.
I raised my hands to the back of his neck and pulled his upper body flush against mine, and whimpered with desire.
“I want… all of you,” I murmured.
He kissed me again and spoke softly, “I've never… done this. But all of me is yours, if that is what you really want.”
I squeezed him in the strongest embrace I'd ever given. "I want you. And I'll never let you go."
He grinned and pressed hot kisses onto my neck. Then he brought himself to the entrance between my legs. A wave of worry washed over me. Would it hurt?
He carefully pressed in, stopping when my body tensed.
“Are you alright?”
I nodded my head as the stretching sensation became less overwhelming. “Yes. Just go slow.”
He pressed in a little more. I took in a shaking breath. It hurt, but not unbearably so. He pushed in more and more until he completely filled me. I squeezed my eyes shut as I waited for my body to relax around him. So this is what everyone was so excited and worried about?
Jase was still for a moment, but he took in a shuddering breath, like he was about to fall apart.
“You are perfect,” he whispered. He bent to kiss between my breasts, his hot lips sending shivers down my center to meet our connection. I arched under him with a moan.
This was euphoria. We were finally close enough, like our souls irreversibly linked.
Then Jase worked himself in and out with gentle, rhythmic movements. I didn’t know he’d do that. My sensitive body responded and tingled. Warmth gathered at my center and spread up to my head and down to the tips of my toes. He sped up, and tightness gave way to pleasure.
Ecstatic cries left my lips, which drove Jase to move harder and stronger until he reached a fury that I feared would split me in half. But I loved it. The passion, the desperation in both of us to give and take everything. His eyes closed as the last few movements made his jaw drop.
“Nirel!”
No one had ever said my name like that. And I hoped no one else ever did. We belonged to each other now.
Jase collapsed onto my chest as spasms rocked his body, and he caught his breath. Something warm and sticky escaped between us as he released himself from me. He didn't let it go inside.
I silently thanked mother for the assero roots again, though the reason I needed them would have horrified her.
Jase pressed his steaming forehead into mine, breathing heavily. “I love you with everything I am.”
I grasped his face and stared into his eyes. “I love you, Jase Nagden, and I will until I die.”
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